Where Is Hawkins?Where travel is cheaper than psychotherapy.

So I went to go see March of the Penguins with Notre Dame girl tonight. It was a nice and interesting movie, but sort of sad because I love penguins and want one as a pet.

But the movies does get my:

This is fucking awesome!!! NIMH, eat your heart out.

Do you:

a) share it with your peers, who alienate you and never talk to you in order to try to be a nice guy, and then go back to being ignored the next day?
b) share it with your coworkers who you are friendly with?
c) give it to a random department at your company for people who have helped you out?
d) horde the lunches for yourself, and negate all the effort you’ve done at the gym.

So I went to my internist today and got some scripts for medicine, one of which has sexual side effects. I’m like, that’s cool – then he proceeded to give me a really awkward 5 minute conversation about the specifics of what happens. And I only giggled a little, because anytime I hear “premature ejaculation” it makes me loller.

For serious if you (a drive-by reader, a blogstalker, part of my blog fan club, or my 3 regular readers) want me to send you a postcard from Africa, I’ll do it – just drop me your address to nick@whereishawkins.com.

So I’m back in the “going out on dates” phase, which is sort of fun. Cramming dates in before I run off to Africa is a good idea, because I’ll have someone to buy cute gifts for.

Notre Dame girl and I are off to a good start, and we’ll go out again on Thursday. She’s nice, and not insane, which are two qualities that are sorely overlooked. And she’s chill too, which is good because I think she realizes that we’re both two independent persons and just go from there. There is someone else, and I’m not sure how to categorize her quite yet – but I will give her a codename – the weekend research project (WRP). She’s a real sweetheart, but kind of shy and reminds me of how I was at one point so I think there’s an investment that needs to be put in. It could be one of those slow burning things, but all good things require time and effort. She did give me a book to read tonight and I’ll give her one in return. But she’s a good friend and we’ll go from there.

I also gave Philly Girl the “I’m not sure we can talk any more” talk via IM (which shows how much of a coward I am). She said that she’d be disappointed, but I needed to think about myself first for once. The season has passed, and things can’t go back to how they were. And you can’t drop back into someone’s life after you left it so abruptly and gave an awkward mea culpa and expect me not to question intentions and motivations. Part of me wants to believe her, and part of me can’t.

And for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m hitting my stride in all aspects of my life and things are only getting better. And it doesn’t even matter if there’s someone along for the ride.

To celebrate the fact that I will be sweating my balls off in 100+ degree heat tomorrow at the White Sox/Red Sox game, I figured that I should start the posting of the infamous White Sox Grinder rules that I’ve been compiling from White Sox Pride’s blog and other places through the power of Google.
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Grinder Rule #1 … Win. Or die trying.
Grinder Rule #2 … Be MVP, M T W T F S S.
Grinder Rule #3 … Grass stains. Dirt stains. Mud stains. Blood stains.
Grinder Rule #4 … Knowing what’s coming and hitting what’s coming — not the same thing.
Grinder Rule #5 … Every pitch is full count. Every inning, the ninth. Every game, game seven.
Grinder Rule #6 … The best seat in the house is often determined by the best player in the house.
Grinder Rule #7 … To win, you need defense, speed, and discipline. And immigration.
Grinder Rule #8 … Play every game like it’s your last.
Grinder Rule #9 … Be realistic, expect miracles.
Grinder Rule #10 … Only one statistic matters: W.
Grinder Rule #11 … When jumping on the White Sox band wagon, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, keep your hands and arms inside the wagon at any time.
Grinder Rule #12 … There is only one acceptable reason not to hold onto the ball: Amputation.
Grinder Rule #13 … There is only one thing more valuable than ability. The ability to recognize it.
Grinder Rule #14 … It’s a mother’s right to yell at her boys.
Grinder Rule #15 … Be a highlight reel.
Grinder Rule #16 … Level the playing field. Preferably while the other team’s on it.
Grinder Rule #17 … Never be satisfied with what you have achieved. It pales in comparison to what you can achieve.
Grinder Rule #18 … NEVER be late for the National Anthem. No matter what nation you’re from.
Grinder Rule #19 … Flying does not make you superman. Getting up and making the throw to first, now that makes you superman.
Grinder Rule #20 … Hot dog vendors don’t take credit.
Grinder Rule #21 … Thieves will be punished. Swiftly, harshly and repeatedly (with photo of AJ Pierzynski)
Grinder Rule #22 … When attending a Chicago White Sox game, don’t blink.
Grinder Rule #23 … When all is said and done, make sure you done more than you said.
Grinder Rule #24 … Play like there are no rules.—like gravity for instance.
Grinder Rule #25 … A good outfielder doesn’t see the wall. He tastes it.
Grinder Rule #26 … Your hitting should serve as a warning. To low flying aircraft.
Grinder Rule #27 … Be a highlight reel.
Grinder Rule #28 … Always give fans something they can take away from the game. Like the other team’s pride.
Grinder Rule #29 … Play like a star. Never act like one.
Grinder Rule #30 … Good enough, isn’t.
Grinder Rule #31 … Never swing at foolish pitches. Unless they’re foolishly belt high, right down the middle.
Grinder Rule #32 … Respect respect.
Grinder Rule #33 … The only way to get out of the hole you dig yourself is to dig deeper. (note: This saying violates Nick’s rule of holes, but I digress).
Grinder Rule #34 … For some, it’s not a choice. It’s genetic.
Grinder Rule #36 … You can’t spell “win” without a few “k’s”.
Grinder Rule #37 … Never walk. Even when you walk.
Grinder Rule #38 … You’re either counted on or counted out.
Grinder Rule #39 … Be a Man. Play like a Boy.
Grinder Rule #41 … Never underestimate the power of power.
Grinder Rule #43 … Step up to the plate even if you’re not stepping up to the plate.
Grinder Rule #44 … There is more to baseball than peanuts and cracker jacks.
Grinder Rule #45 … The best defense is a strong offense.
Grinder Rule #46 … Respect the past, people who are shoeless, and anyone named Joe.
Grinder Rule #47 … Flying does not make you superman. Getting up and making the throw to first for the force out, now that makes you Superman.
Grinder Rule #49 … There are no starting pitchers. Only finishing pitchers.
Grinder Rule #50 … Be head and shoulders and arms and legs and spine and torso above the competition.
Grinder Rule #53 … There are always willing players: Those willing to do whatever it takes to win. And those willing to watch them.
Grinder Rule #54 … If you can’t take the heat, get out of the batter’s box.
Grinder Rule #55 … It’s called stepping up to the plate for a reason.
Grinder Rule #57 … There’s power in numbers..Like 14,23,25,24,15,5,12….
Grinder Rule #58 … In the unlikely event an opposing player turns a lucky swing into a home run here at U.S. Cellular Field — home of the White Sox — and an unsuspecting fan catches said ball, he or she should NOT throw the ball back onto the field of play.
Grinder Rule #59 … GO. GO. GO.
Grinder Rule #61 … There is no “I” in team. But there is one in quit.
Grinder Rule #62 … Advance the runner at all cost.
Grinder Rule #65 … Do not sit in the leftfield bleachers, home to Scott Podsednik.
Grinder Rule #66 … There is nothing loveable about losing.
Grinder Rule #69 … There’s always this year.(Well,and last year.)
Grinder Rule #71 … If at first you succeed. Repeat.
Grinder Rule #73 … When bringing the family to a White Sox game know your limits.
Grinder Rule #74 … Believe in magic. Not magic numbers.
Grinder Rule #75 … Heroes aren’t born, they’re rotated.
Grinder Rule #76 … Pitch. Hit. Win. Repeat.
Grinder Rule #78 … Ixnay on talkin’ about the ayoffsplay
Grinder Rule #88 … Make history, history.
Grinder Rule #89 … Taste victory and be hungry forever.
Grinder Rule #92 … Interpretive dance at 101 M.P.H.
Grinder Rule #95 … Be more than a one hit wonder.
Grinder Rule #96 … Expect the Unexpected.
Grinder Rule #98 … Batters should fear your fastball. Not because it can get them out. Because it can knock them down.
Grinder Rule #99 … Intimidation can come from a screaming 99-MPH fastball..or a Screaming 9-year-old.
Grinder Rule #162 … Crying in baseball is acceptable only if champagne burns your eyes.
Grinder Rule #174 … Hoist the city up on your shoulders. They’ll return the favor.
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Updated July 7, 2006. Email me if I am missing some. Go Sox!

Would that make me look like an asshat if I audioblogged from Tanzania?

She lost. :(

I hate writing about political subjects, mainly because the entire process makes me sick. There are a lot of people in politics who need an ass kicking because they are hellbent on vendettas and for the most part, our stupid media has no problem following along.

The current nonstory is the alleged disclosure of an undercover CIA operative by someone in the White House. Karl Rove is being pegged as the source of the alleged leak. I don’t like Karl Rove. He has all the charm of a used car salesman and has probably done a number of questionable things while he’s served the President. But in this case, I don’t think he leaked anything that wasn’t already a secret, and I don’t think he broke the law. And if I’m 100% wrong, I’ll be leading the call for his head and a nice jail cell reserved for traitors like Robert Hanssen. But the biggest asshole in the situation (for once) does not come from the Bush White House.

Joseph Wilson is a douchebag.

There’s no other way to say it. What sort of guy goes on national talk shows to hock a book about his wife’s “cover being blown” and then poses for photos in Vanity Fair with his wife? What sort of ‘non-partisan’ guy was a consultant (albeit temporary) for Kerry’s campaign? I’m just thinking – if my wife’s spy cover was blown, I wouldn’t flaunt it and go on talk shows compounding that fact. Nor would I happily pose with her in pictures like this one. It makes it hard for me to believe that he and his family were victims when they shamelessly whore themselves out at every opportunity.

Bill Gertz, who is the man when it comes to government reporting, already said that Plame’s cover was blown back in the 90s. The CIA fucked up. Twice. Apparently her name was obtained by the Russians and the Cubans. She wasn’t a deep cover operative – she had a desk job but with a cover. And don’t you think that if she was that deep of a cover, the CIA would have prevented her from donating money in her own name to political campaigns?

The whole thing reeks of sheer lunacy: The CIA, in their infinite wisdom, sends a non-CIA employee (Wilson) to see about Yellowcake uranium in Niger. Wilson hasn’t been in Niger for 20+ years and wasn’t an expert in nuclear weapons. And the CIA didn’t make him sign a nondisclosure agreement, which makes perfect sense if you’re a fucking retard. I’m just saying – if you work for a secret company and they send you to do something for them that’s secret, wouldn’t they make you sign something that says you will keep it secret? Nor does the CIA stop Wilson from writing the infamous Op-Ed in the New York Times detailing his mission and his findings. Oh yeah and I forgot the part about how he was recommended to go on the trip by his wife. So by writing the Op-Ed and revealing how he got the assignment, don’t you think the CIA would have been super pissed because that might cause Plame’s identity to be revealed? There’s a lot that doesn’t add up, so I have to question the reason why Wilson is pursuing this. That, and I question why the CIA sucks so hard.

Is there a crime? I don’t think so. And neither do 36 major news organizations (ABC, CBS, NBC, Bloomberg, CNN, Reuters, The Tribune Company, Washington Post, Fox News, etc.) as listed in this amicus brief. I think they’re pissed that the grandstanding by the NY Times and Time Magazine is going to fuck them in the future about real matters of journalistic privilege when things actually matter. I mean, for serious, if her cover was blown many years ago the CIA didn’t prevent her identity from spreading, is it really a leak?

So, Joe Wilson – quit being a douche. You did a good job when you were a civil servant, but now you just come across as a really pissed off guy with an axe to grind. And the more you open your yap, the more you make yourself look like a bigger idiot.