May, 2008


26
May 08

Wash Your Fucking Feet

On the way back from London today, there was this horrid odor near my seat. It literally reeked of ass or something bodily. It was hilarious because I sat next to a Pakistani guy who made a funny about how he normally gets blamed for these odors but this time it wasn’t him. That made me LOL, though. Anyway, the entire flight crew found the smell repulsive. It was bad. Turning on the air only seemed to multiply and spread the smell.

Turns out that it was some hippie-lookin’ guy a seat up and over from me who went barefoot throughout the entire flight was the culprit. This Indian couple my age in the row in front of me was like “Seriously we thought something died.”

So be kind to your fellow passengers on a long flight – wash your fucking feet and wear socks. Going barefoot on a plane is a bad idea anyway for about a thousand reasons.


18
May 08

Future Adventures

Well, I talked with the soon-to-be wife today and it looks like she wants to join me on a future adventure. Naturally this brings up some interesting issues. Traveling by myself is fun, but it gets lonely. I get to do what I want and how I want it. And traveling with a few friends is fun, but it takes the right sort of friends to go on fun adventures with because they have to match your personality. Finding laid back people who go with the flow is important. I could never travel with someone who keeps a clock and a demanding schedule.

So, I haven’t planned anything but will gladly take suggestions on where to go.


18
May 08

You know you’re a nerd when…

You find this and you laugh like a juvenile.


11
May 08

The day after

Day 4 – Luxor:
I spent the entire night running back and forth between the bathroom and taking powernaps on the floor so I’d be that much faster to the draw in the event of power vomiting. I did a good job at pushing fluids – Orange Fanta is awesome. Of course, I was an idiot – didn’t bring Oral rehydration salts/gatorade mix, no Tums/Pepto or even Cipro. It goes with my travel rule – I always forget something at home, I always lose something and I always break something. At this point, the triad of misery was complete (I “broke” an 8gb CF card and I lost my Canon battery charger somewhere.) I felt like shit to be perfectly honest. I had a great view of the Nile and everything you could possibly want on a vacation but my GI system went to hell and on top of it, my legs were cramping bigtime due to crawling around inside of Cheops 2 days earlier. I was waddling.

The best I could figure it, if I didn’t do something today, I would have felt like crap and bummed. I wanted to go see the Valley of the Kings, so I negotiated a seemingly fair rate with a taxi driver and he took me and promised me that we’d stop and see the Colossi of Memnon on the way back. Cool.

In a way, I had these visions of exploring the Valley of the Kings on a bicycle, which apparently is the cool way to see everything if you have the time. But it was about 100 out, and I wasn’t feeling up for any exertion. I took the little tram car up for a few Egyptian Pounds and made it up to the entrance. It was only then did I realize I wasn’t up for this. Basically, every tomb has a separate admission fee – King Tutankhamen’s tomb, for instance, was an additional 80 Egyptian Pounds ($15) on top of the $9 entry fee. That was just for starters. If you had the money and the desire not to take any pictures inside any tomb, you were more than welcome to. Basically you can spend all day and about $100 to see everything, but no photos. Dr. Carter must have had nerd orgasms daily on everything that he found in these sites. Tut’s tomb, for instance, contained a lot of treasures (which I saw at the Egyptian Museum a few days earlier.) It was amazing to see. Sadly, that was the only tomb I went in that day. I was beat and just wanted to go to bed. I made the most of my 2 hours there and realized I was in poor shape: I hadn’t eaten in 48 hours, pushed more water than any person should and just needed bed time in a comfy bed.

On the way back, we swung by the Temple of Hatshepsut to take photos. I ran out of the car, snapped about a dozen photos, and on the way out someone tried to shake us down for “admission” to take photos – at the cost of what it would cost to actually go inside. The douchebag blocked the car and I leaned out going “Seriously what the fuck!!!” in my obnoxious loudmouthed American voice, attracting the Tourism Police. My taxi driver explained everything that the Tourism Police pushed the dude out of the way so we could head out.

The final stop was the Colossi of Memnon, two huge statues of Amenhotep III. Basically, everyone pulls up for a few minutes, hops out, snaps photos and then heads back out. But instead of being shaken down by some random tout, the Tourism Police hit my taxi driver up for a few cigarettes and then we drove off. I thought, well, Chicago and Luxor’s police share a few things in common…

I grabbed some more Fanta and water and attempted to eat some at the hotel but just gave up and decided to crash. Tomorrow was a big day – I had to pack, hopefully take a Felluca ride on the Nile and at night, take the overnight train back to Cairo. I felt a bit disappointed, not seeing what I wanted to see fully but I realized that I might be back here in January of 2009 with a big posse of people and that I could always come back at any time in the future. The benefits of being a frequent traveler – the realization that there is no such thing as a “once in a lifetime” trip.


10
May 08

Arrival in Luxor

Arriving in Luxor by train is rather quite amusing. The guidebook said “watch out for touts,” but I didn’t believe them. I had a simple plan: get to the hotel, get cleaned up and then head to Karnak and Luxor Temples and consider my day a great success.

The overnight train pulled up to Luxor Station, I grabbed my stuff, made a quick cleanup of the cabin and headed off the train, to, as luck would have it – run smack into a tout asking if I had a hotel or needed a taxi. Wow, not even 10 seconds! I made a mental note to write an “I’m sorry I doubted you” note to Rough Guides, and headed outside and grabbed a taxi. We negotiated a price of 20 Egyptian Pounds and drove off. After a few minutes, he said “40!” and I opened the door and screamed “PULL THE FUCK OVER!” “Ok, ok, ok… sorry!” Well, he dropped me off about a block from the hotel, and I was pissed that some douchenozzle was going to try to change the agreed upon price. Upon retrospect, I should have taken this as a sign to come about touts trying to squeeze tourists.

The first stop after getting showered, cleaned up and restaged was Karnak Temple – it’s the largest religious complex in the world (behind the shrine to me in Vancouver.) Pretty much you were only allowed to wander around Amun-Re, and most of my time was spent thinking about what it was like to go through this before it fell into disrepair. It would have been intimidating, frightening and amazing (especially lit with torches, not with my badass flashlight.)

I decided to take a walk (which wasn’t the brightest idea) and ended up at the Luxor Museum. The museum itself is spectacular, considering the guidebooks say that it’s on the second tier list of things to do when you’re in Luxor. The museum itself had two mummies in awesome condition, as well as a bunch of stuff from King Tutankhamen’s tomb in the Valley of the Kings. No photos were allowed but the guards would have gladly let me for some baksheesh. I was tempted, but I was just glad to be out of the heat and sun and in the cold, dark and air conditioned museum. They did have this really pimp statue of Amenhotep III and the crocodile god Sobek that was neat.

The walk to the Luxor Temple wasn’t that bad. I did get to stumble across the University of Chicago’s office there, presumably for the badass Oriental Institute. After a bit of walking, I ended up at Luxor Temple. In a way, it was a bit of a letdown after seeing Karnak first, but still pretty impressive. The 80 foot high granite obelisk was familiar – there were a pair of them, but one was taken to Paris. Ramessess II was present everywhere in amazing statues. The handiwork was amazing – even with modern tools they’d still be super impressive.

I took a taxi back to the hotel, got rehydrated and started to have projectile vomiting, which was totally sexy. It just hit me out of the blue (blew!) and that’s how I spent my night. I wasn’t sure if it was food poisoning (a lot of things were suspect) and as luck would have it, I forgot my goodie-bag with Cipro, Pepto and all sorts of awesome drugs. I kept pushing fluids (water and Fanta – I mean, c’mon – Fanta is awesome) and kept running between the bathroom and bed. It was time to get myself feeling better so I can proceed with seeing things in Luxor.


9
May 08

The Pyramids

Growing up in the sticks, I never imagined that I’d ever get to see the Pyramids of Giza, let alone crawl inside one of them. But let’s back up for a moment (have you guys gotten the impression by now that I can’t tell anything in a linear fashion?) – I was pretty much exhausted from my first day running around Cairo that I had plans to “just lie down for an hour” which turned into 12. Things like that happen from time to time.

I had an ambitious plan – get up early and go hit the Pyramids before it got too hot out. Temperatures in Cairo were in the 90’s range with the sun and the dryness sucking the water out of you. I loaded up with 2 liters of water with plans to buy more while I was there and left the hotel around 7:20am in order to catch them as they opened at 8am. The upside of staying close to the Pyramids is that I thought I could walk it, which upon retrospect, isn’t the smartest thing I’ve done (in a long line of stupid things I’ve done). As I’m fond of saying, the map showed that it was “only two inches” away and it was a good 30 minute walk.

Like anything in Egypt, there’s the general admission and always additional entry fees to all the cool stuff. It was 50 Egyptian Pounds (US$9) to get into the Pyramids and another 100 Egyptian Pounds to go enter Cheops. I paid for my separate admission fee and queued up like a good tourist. There was no photography allowed (they had people confiscating and holding cameras) along with wanding with a handheld metal detector. It sort of ruined my day – I was so hoping that I could sneak in my pocket camera to get a shot or two. I don’t know how these ‘tards got in and took photos, but I’m jealous. Maybe things have changed.

We entered Cheops and crawled inside what amounts to a 3 foot high passageway that was probably 150 feet long and at a 40 degree incline. It made a great hike climb, considering it was by far the most humid place I’ve ever been in. My highly scientific estimate was approximately 4 billion percent humidity inside. I did score some serious cool points with my badass Fenix flashlight and lit the way. Eventually we got into the King’s Chamber, where the humidity felt like it tripled. We spent some time looking inside and it didn’t hit me until later that – holy shit, I’m in one of the Great Fucking Pyramids! Getting down was more of a hassle – it was sort of scary and a bit claustrophobic. After about 10 minutes, I got out of the Great Pyramids of Cheops, grabbed my bag, paid my baksheesh and realized that I was drenched in my own sweat. I pounded a liter of water and felt like I got my ass kicked. Also, your legs will take a pounding. Even with my awesome quads from cycling and enduring things in the past like Kilimanjaro and other long hikes, this was something new. My legs were beat and it took a few days to recover.

At the back of the Great Pyramid of Cheops is the Solar Boat Museum. It was designed to carry Khufu’s mummy across the Nile for burial. I was amazed at the level of craftsmanship that was displayed and even more impressed by the renovation of the boat itself. It was pretty cool. When people packed for the afterlife, they didn’t leave things behind. I only wish someone would bury me with a Santa Cruz 52’ or a J130 for the afterlife so I can go sail when I want to. His boat was roughly 150 feet long. Some guys get all the luck.

Chefre and Menakure were equally cool Pyramids. It’s hard to say something original about them, but I sat and took it all in. I wondered what it would be like to be here during the building and what it cost in terms of lives, materials and time. I’ve read a good number of books on pyramid building theories, essays on what comprised the workforce, and the effort involved (whomever calculated the effort in calories is a lot cooler than I am.) It must have been something to sit and watch this during construction with the thousands of workers involved, and the thousands of people who supported the laborers. It would have been something to just sit and watch.

After a few hours of walking around (mental note: The Pyramids aren’t really walkable, and you’re asking for trouble if you decide that riding a camel/horse is awesome.) Like any of the cool open-air museums that Egypt has to offer, they also have people who are more than willing to pose for photos, let you into “closed” things and lead you around as impromptu tour guides for cash. If you’re planning a tour of the Giz Plateau, it’s probably a good idea to bring small notes (LE10, or $1.80) for baksheesh. Everyone’s up for it, including the police. In a way, it’s much like Chicago – a favor or a few offered cigarettes might get the police to turn a blind eye or cut you some slack.

The Sphinx was pretty damn slick. I’m not entirely sure what it was to represent, but again the craftsmanship was definitely something to behold. The problem that I had was I’m trying to deconstruct and then reconstruct this from an engineer’s perspective, then expand that into project planning. So I’m wondering – what sort of person got to work on the Sphinx? How long did it take? How many people? What were they trying to build and why? In a way, spending time with the Pyramids and the Sphinx were maddening. Every question I had answered had 20 more come up.

I left the Giza Plateau after about 6 hours and exited near the Sphinx. And as fate or fortune smiled upon me, I stumbled across a Pizza Hut. It clearly was a sign, so I made a beeline towards the PH and had a nice meal, making it my 22nd country I’ve had PH in. It’s quite sad, but it hit the spot.

I got back to the hotel, crashed by the pool, tried to push fluids as best as I could and took a taxi to Giza Station to catch my overnight train to Luxor. I was looking forward to an overnight train ride – I had my own cabin (I was willing to share, but I didn’t get a bunkmate) and managed to get a decent night’s sleep. I was thinking of the Valley of the Kings and it was time to get there.


9
May 08

My hotel in Cairo

Because I like taking HD videos. This is what a Starwood Platinum upgrade gets me.


8
May 08

Score!

Mother’s Day flowers = 1500 AAdvantage miles.

But at this rate, when you’ve earned 1.63 million miles in 6.5 years and are sitting on enough available miles to take 3 friends around the world in style, it just makes for a way to keep score.


7
May 08

Photos are up

(Yes, I know, I need to finish my trip write up. That’s coming.)

All of the Egypt photos are up at Fotki, but I haven’t captioned them yet or deleted the ones that suck. Nor have I made my “best of” photos. But for those who are impatient, you can check them out.

I have a few videos I have to upload to YouTube, but mainly it’s just of how awesome the hotels were. It makes me feel a bit frustrated that I’m going to have to work on trying to keep Starwood Platinum status next year.


7
May 08

The first day in Cairo

After getting a few hours of sleep, I got up around 6:30am and sat and watched the Pyramids while I tried to figure out what to do with my first day. I had 3 major objectives: Visit the Egyptian Museum, pick up my overnight train tickets to Luxor and back, and head to the Citadel of Saladin. Knowing that the Egyptian Museum opened at 10am, I had some time to kill. I grabbed some breakfast, checked email and hopped into a taxi to the Museum.

Hailing a taxi in Cairo is an artform that I don’t think anyone adequately explains. You flag down a taxi, tell them where you want to go, and if they are going in that direction, you get in. If they aren’t, then they drive off. It’s that simple. All the taxis I was in had broken meters, so the fee is flat based on the distance you’re going. However, no one tells you the distance, and you have to scour the internets to find out. The best guide I found was the the h2g2 guide at the Beeb so print it out and keep it handy. If you’re a single male passenger, you get to ride shotgun. My driver to the museum was nice and he offered me a cigarette. I figured, welcome to Cairo.

I got to the museum as it opened, and wasn’t prepared for the pure onslaught of tourists. Normally I’m good at handling crowds of people, but I felt overwhelmed. I paid my entry fee and thought I’d be able to walk in with my backpack. I waited a few minutes, went through the metal detector and x-ray machine and they sent me back to have my backpack held. So if you had a great idea of taking awesome photos at the Egyptian Museum, you’re out of luck. I was kinda pissed but whatever – I had to deal. Entry fee was 50 Egyptian Pounds (US$9).

The museum itself was nothing short of amazing. I had seen bits and pieces of the collection when it was the Field and in other museums, but it was cool to see everything under one roof. However, nothing is really labeled and docents are in short supply so you’re either forced to take a tour (again, it’s hard to find a quality tour guide unless you’re with an overall tour) or buy a good book. I used both my Rough Guide Egypt book and my DK Egypt book to navigate around, but it still wasn’t enough. I spent a few hours there, and the highlights were the Royal Mummy collection (100 Egytian Pounds, US$18) and of course, the infamous King Tut collection. The Tutankamun mask was amazing and most definitely – it was good to be the King.

After a few hours, I left, grabbed my bag, walked to the nearest Metro station and decided to be bold and take it to Ramses Station to get my train tickets. The Metro was fine – and I figured it was worth taking it 2 stops for 1 Egyptian Pound (18 cents). I got my tickets for the Abela overnight train and hopped into a taxi and went to the east side of Cairo to go to the Citadel of Saladin.

The Citadel itself is famous for housing the Alabaster Mosque, or the Muhammed Ali Mosque (not to be confused with the boxer, but it’d be badass if he did have his own mosque. Mosques, like churches, tend to blend together for me and it’s cool to see them but I fail to be wowed by them. I mean, I understand them historically and can appreciate it for that, but it’s like – ok, cool – that was a good five minutes well spent.

I also did wander around the Police Museum and the National Military Museum. The Police Museum was interesting with displays on counterfitting and historical assassinations but the Military Museum got my interest peaked. I was mainly curious how they’d handle battles with the Israelis, who, for the most part, kicked the shit out of the Egyptians (see: the 1948 Arab-Israeli War and The Six Day War). Those were conspiciously absent, but the museum did make a big deal about the Yom Kippur War in 1973 that caught the Israelis offguard, then had the Israelis rally and start to kick ass before the USSR threatened to step in and how that was important and showed how great their military prowess was. I bit my tongue and kept going. In a way, it was cool to see this historically and put it in the context of having seen some of the US’s latest military hardware up close and how “low tech” it seemed, but whatever. It was still cool.

Around closing time, I decided to hop back in a taxi back across town and head to the hotel and plan out the rest of my day. I felt like I got my ass kicked, so I planned on taking a bit of a nap, and then grabbing some food and planning out tomorrow’s trip to the Giza Pyramids.

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