1) Have a Nick Hawkins convention – a mass gathering of Nick Hawkins’ throughout the world, whereby we meet up, drink and go ransack a town.
2) Keep a track of the most obscure country from which someone visits my blog, and go there. Bonus points for if they let me sleep on their couch. Since October 1, it was Azerbaijan. In the last 30 days, Moldova, Bosnia and Iran have all made it to my list.
3) Get residency permits for Gibraltar.
4) Ask my congressman for money to travel to be a “Goodwill Ambassador.” Better yet, a Diplomatic passport. What can go wrong?
5) Spend a night at an airport. Since I’m in them all the freakin’ time, I’m curious what goes on after dark and the terminal is empty. Might be worthy of a blog post.
6) The next celebrity I meet/see, I’ll be sure to go “Hey, I loved you in…” whatever their most obscure/stupidest role was. Hilarity will ensue.
7) Get named as a character in a book, and then have that character killed in a funny way, such as zombies and robots – in a Victorian-era suspense novel.