September, 2009


28
Sep 09

Last 36 hours in Rio

Everyone knows of my world famous sleeping disorders, where I toss, turn, speak, make sounds and generally provide entertainment to everyone else in the room. The Scottish people in the room found it quite entertaining and made a good joke or three at my expense at breakfast, so I took it in good strides. Hey, I suck at sleeping. I know.

The morning looks rather sunny, so I decided to head straight to Corcovado to see Christ the Redeemer (aka “The Big Jesus”.) Statue to statue, the Big Jesus is 2/3rd’s the size of the Statue of Liberty, which blew my mind because it really seemed like it was 50x the size. A bit of a letdown. The tram ride to the top was a bit pricy, but was a fun experience. Literally two minutes before I paid for my ticket, my Brits from earlier in the trip at the hostel arrived, so I collected their tickets too and off we went.

Overall it was pretty impressive, I mean – it’s a big statue of Jesus. You basically go up there, take photos, and go back down. If it wasn’t 90 degrees and I wasn’t lazy, I would have attempted to walk back down (since this is a common tourist thing to do). But it was still fun to do. When you think of Rio, you think of Christ the Redeemer. Interestingly enough, Christ’s left hand points to Maracana Stadium. Ah, religion and soccer.

By the time I got back to the hostel, I was beat and headed off to Carretao for steak. I’ve been avoiding the churrascarias because I figured the lessons learned from Argentina was avoid constant meat intake. It was well worth it, and I felt happy to have gorged.

The next morning, I took a tour of the Favelas (Rocinha and Vila Canoas), through Marcelo Armstrong’s Favela Tours. Despite it being a “thing to do” in Rio, I felt that it might be considered exploitative. I figured it’d be akin to driving a bunch of Japanese tourists through the West Side of Chicago but I was rather surprised. It’s an interesting code – crime is minimal because the areas are often controlled by drug dealers, and crime invites the police in to snoop around. Makes sense. If you want to do anything in a favela, you need permission from the dealers. Overall, it was eye opening and I felt safe. Sure, there were areas where we were told that we can’t take photos in order to make sure we don’t piss off anyone that matters, but that’s not a big deal to me.

I got back to the hostel, got some food, did a final walk around Ipanema and said my goodbyes. I’ll miss Rio, but only for about 2 months until I go back.


23
Sep 09

Doing what the guidebook says not to

I slept like a rock and got up around 9 on Sunday morning and made a line for the Hippie Market. I didn’t want to be a downer, but it didn’t stand out as something I wanted to spend money at. It was just like any other market in Rio. Maybe I’m down on myself because I hate buying souvenirs and “stuff.”

All of the Rio guidebooks say never ever go into the Centro district on weekends because it’s a ghost town and thus, you’ll be raped or mugged or worse. To me, that’s a challenge. I did my fair share of walking around, including going inside and around Igreja da Candelária. Churches always seem to be a hit or miss with me – either it’s another European church that doesn’t stand out at all and blends in together (can you tell the difference between a church in France and one in Germany? Probably not) but some of the New World ones are interesting. Regardless, I headed towards the Museu Histórico Nacional. Sadly, on Sundays they open at 2pm, so I spent an hour just goofing off around the Museum. I was pressed for time – there was a 5pm pickup at the hostel to go see a soccer game – Fluminiense vs Nautico. It was definitely an interesting visit, considering that I didn’t know much about Brazilian history and how much of it mirrored the US. After two rainy hours, I hopped a taxi back to the hostel and changed up for the soccer game.

A few interesting things came up: One, there’s no alcohol served two hours before or two hours after the game. Apparently it’s a big runup to the World Cup 2014 and trying to keep out the soccer related violence at a minimum. Personally, when it comes to community policing at major soccer events, Euro 2004 had it right when it came to letting people get high versus drunk and stupid. Stoners, in my experience, don’t get into fights and thus, even if there was a major loss, you’d be too hungry to be upset about it. Win win.

Two other things: Apparently, driving while intoxicated is a new law in Brazil, and that police where blood types on their uniforms. Hardcore.


21
Sep 09

Sugarloaf

You know you’ve gotten old when you’re not able to stay out late. I have my yearly outing where I stay out past 3am and then sleep for 10 hours when I get home, usually from the alcohol consumption. So in Rio, going to bed around 1am is more or less admitting defeat. Getting in around 3am is a normal night, and getting in around 8am is a sign of a good night. The fellow hostel guests rolled in at various times in the night, so it made for a decent but interrupted night’s sleep.

I rolled out of bed at 9am and hopped on the bus to Jardim Botanico (pics). Again, with the bus drivers not announcing stops, you sort of had to figure things out yourself on the map and go from there. Not a big deal. I took a few hours to wander around, and took some interesting pictures. They had an orchid festival going on, and despite not knowing anything about the orchids or plants in general, I was impressed by the level of devotion that the people who cultivated them. I also got to see some marmosets – a woman was feeding them and they were very cute – pocket monkeys.

I have a thing where I talk to animals and say “Hi I’m Nick” because secretly I think that they understand me and are like “Hi Nick!” back. I also want to hug most animals too, but that’s not a smart thing to do. As my friend Kaya McLaren says – you have to hug them psychically.

Around 3pm, I finished up my walking around and despite it being overcast, I said fuck it, and hopped on a bus to Sugarloaf Mountain (Pão de Açúcar). The line took about an hour to get through, and it was rather efficient. You take two separate large tram cars to the top (the trams were featured in Moonraker, back when Roger Moore was a creepy spy.)  At the top of the first peak, I rank into Kellogg students – in matching polos, natch. There’s something weird about groups of people in matching clothing.

Getting to the top was rather surreal – you ascended through the fog and got to the top, which, due to the fog was rather deserted. I decided go for a meander, and was alone most of the time. I liked it – being at a tourist area and having the place to myself is rather cool. Of course, I was upset that I didn’t end up with crystal clear views and crystal clear photos, but the fog was its own fun. (Sorry about the pics, #1 and #2)

You know why I don’t have any awesome photos from the top? Fog. from Nick Hawkins on Vimeo.

Brazil was playing Argentina in soccer tonight, and I’ve always liked Brazil over Argentina, mainly because I always thought that Diego Maradona was an asshole – from “The Hand of God” to drugging Brazilian players, he exemplified all that’s wrong with sports. Brazilians hated his guts too, and now, he was coach of the Argentinian national squad. I was told that I should go to an Irish pub named Shenanigans, not too far from the hotel. First of all, Shenanigans reminds me of Super Troopers and Farva. Second, Irish pubs are all the same – depressing. I’ve never been in one Irish pub that didn’t make me want to eat a bullet. And it was also a tourist trap with expensive beer and gringos. I watched the first half of the game and got to see Brazil score impressive goals – with the immediate cut to fatty Maradona’s sad face, which made the crowd laugh more. Most of the Shenanigans crowd wasn’t into the game so I left and went to a local bar, where I could watch the game, eat a doner and cheer for Brasil. The staff seemed amused at the sight of this pudgy pasty guy having a beer and talking soccer to locals despite the language barrier.

On what was close to a 15 hour day without a chance to not be in motion, I gave up and crawled into bed around 1am again. Being an old man is a drag.


19
Sep 09

Sleeping with Rio

I got up around 9am on my first full night in a Rio bunkbed and a good shower, I went with my new friends, the Brits, downtown to Paço Imperial and into the Centro district. The guidebooks said not to go downtown during the weekends because it being a central business district, would be a ghost town and thus you’d be eaten by zombies. Well, I very well can’t have that happen!

(N.B.: When I read stuff that bores me, I tend to make up things to make it more exciting. I read “blah blah blah don’t go downtown or you’ll be mugged or worse” and I was like “this is stupid” and thought being eaten by Rio zombies would sound cooler.)

Taking the bus in Rio was pretty fun. Instead of the trusty CTA, they have a driver and a cashier onboard (much like Beijing) and you grab a seat. My first thoughts were “JTFC, this driver drives like a meth addict” but then realized that’s how I felt about the CTA bus drivers. I retract my statement.

The walk around was pretty interesting, and we got to hop into the Palácio Tiradentes, which was the former seat of federal government and is still used for the state government and other functions, like plays and other art festivals. The dome inside of it was pretty slick, but I managed to totally screw up making a large panorama of it. Regardless, it was still pretty slick.

We grabbed lunch at a local buffet where you pay by weight of the food. Not too bad for $8 with a cocktail.

Then came the fun: The Santa Teresa Tram

Hanging off the tram up to Largo das Neves, Rio de Janeiro. from Nick Hawkins on Vimeo.

The tram ride up is basically asking you to take your life into your hands. For 20 minutes up to the top, you basically hang off the side and hope you don’t plummet to your death or get clipped. It did kick ass but trying to film, take photos and hold on for dear life wasn’t the brightest thing I’ve done in some time, but then again, I’m not known for the best decisions.

Once at the top, we did a bit of wandering around and stopped off for a beer. There was this pesky old woman at the top who reminded me of that old woman who really had nothing else going on in her life except to give evil glares to kids and to insert herself into the business of others. She basically insinuated that we with the big cameras, would get mugged. She was awesome, despite being a bitch.

It started to get dark, and like gringos in our first 48 hours in Rio, we headed back to Ipanema and went our separate ways for dinner. I was lame and went to some stupid chain restaurant called Banana Jack’s, which was basically a clone of TGI Fridays/Chili’s and since it was a clone, it served mediocre food at an inflated price. What was interesting was that you’re handed a form when you enter a restaurant, and they check off what you order, and stamp it when you’ve paid and you hand it to the same person on your way out. Surely there was a more efficient way to do this, but hey, who am I to judge?

I crashed at about midnight, which in Rio, is just like admitting you’re a big pussy and can’t stay up late. What can I say? I’m an old man.


17
Sep 09

Welcome to Rio

From the time I left the bachelor pad until I got to O’Hare to hop on the flight down to Rio, I had this horrible sense of panic. Generally when I travel, there’s always a sense of “What the hell am I doing?” and I think to a degree, it’s common and healthy to have. But this was different. I guess all the stories I’ve heard about bad things happening in Rio was starting to get the best of me, and I was worried. It also didn’t help that I just finished reading Gavin de Becker’s “The Gift of Fear” before the trip. It was rather insightful, and despite the years of education and experience I have, you still need to learn to trust your instincts.

The flight from Chicago to Miami was rather uneventful, as most flights are nowadays. It’s a fine little routine I’ve settled into – I generally pick the same seat, sit down, and go through the same motions. There’s something comforting and yet boring about it. After close to a million miles flown in the last seven years, it’s a struggle to find the joy of flying. In a way, flying is a sadistic psychological experiment, conducted by some omnipotent deviant. At the security checkpoint, you have the Milgram Experiment. On the plane, you have triggers for anxiety, paranoia, agoraphobia and my personal favorite, white noise torture. In a way, I’m surprised more people don’t go nuts in a plane.

Landing in Rio wasn’t that bad. The immigration procedures were pretty straight forward and I was able to grab my bags and make my way out into the terminal. The difficult part, however, is that finding a cash machine. Mental note: At GIG, they’re on the 3rd floor near the post office. You’d think that there’d be one in close proximity to the arrivals hall, but there isn’t. There is a plethora of currency exchanges though.

After finally getting money, I hopped on a Real bus per the instructions on getting to the hostel. It was only R$7, which wasn’t that bad for a shuttle bus, along with a free view of the city. The ride itself to Ipanema took about 90 minutes, and I was too jacked up on adrenalin to not stare out the window. What sucked was that the driver didn’t call out stops, so it was up to you to figure out where you were supposed to get off. I overshot my stop by one (Posto 10 instead of Posto 9) and got to enjoy a 15 minute walk (instead of a 2 minute walk.)  I ended up at the Mango Tree Hostel, which was not a bad place to spend time. The security was top notch and you were buzzed in and out and also had to carry an ID with you. Very smart. The only downside was the lack of free wifi, but we got spotty signal from the porch (the SSID of linksys is the world’s largest WiFi hotspot) from some unaware neighbor.

After getting situated, I went for a walk down Ipanema eastwards towards Praça do Arpoador, which is a great vantage point between Ipanema and Copacabana. The walk itself was fantastic, with a nice bike/running path along the beach and the bronzed people in the sun made for good eye candy. The women were scantily clad, which left me staring more than I should have. The men themselves were in fantastic shape, and if I were gay, I would have been in heaven. After a few minutes on the beach, I did develop the appreciation for the thong. It’s almost magic in its qualities to take something so little and have your imagination run wild. Had I been driving, I would have run into a lightpole. Ah, the thong. I had two caipirinhas along the beach, and decided to head back to lay out a plan after being out in the sun for a few hours. After travel plus weather differential and the sun, my body called quits on me and I had to regroup.

The first day anywhere is always the “getting to know you” period – meet people, get your surroundings and have a good meal and prepare for the next day. While lounging on the hammock at the hostel (mental note, hammocks make things right in the world), I developed a game plan for the next day: head downtown, see the sights and go from there. I keep forgetting that the point of travel is to periodically relax. There are some who would fly all the way to Rio and just sit on the beach and not interact with the locals. That’s not me. I could never do a beach vacation.

Despite every guidebook and local saying that I shouldn’t venture out alone after dark, I decided to go for a walk around Ipanema and get some bearings. I’ve made a career out of doing things people said not to, so this is just a common trend in my life. I figured, if I got mugged, they’d take me for $30. Not a big deal.

I found a little bar called Popeye Bar, which was a local hangout that had a soap opera on and had a pint of Brahma beer, which wasn’t too bad. I’ve had it before, but it was nice to have my first native pint. After some more wandering around and finding the local grocery store, I decided to have a nice meal at Colher de Pau, which advertised having “sweets and beer.” Awesome.

The steak was amazing and definitely hit the spot after skipping breakfast on the flight, but the Bitburger beer was sort of blah. It didn’t bother me that much, but I could have gone for another Brahma. It was close to midnight, and I figured that I was hitting that wall and wanted to get some Ambien-induced sleepy time before I tackled Rio’s Centro district.


13
Sep 09

The world is a darker place today

One of the greatest men in the history of the world died last night. Norman Borlaug succumbed to cancer at the age of 95. Apolitical, Dr. Borlaug saved hundreds of millions of lives from starvation by his work with high-yield crops. Some have even credited his work for help save a billion lives. Yes, a billion.

A simple man from Iowa wanted to make sure people get fed and see their conditions improve. That’s all. And on a night where the insufferable Bono and U2 invade Chicago, touting their moral superiority and trying to get governments and others to donate money while at the same time, hiding money in tax havens – a simple man and his dedicated colleagues went to work without the fanfare and kept on working into his 90′s to try to ensure that people in the world don’t starve.

In the first world, we have the luxury of being able to buy non-GMO food products, but we’re depriving the starving throughout the world of the very same products we’re scared of. It’s a fucking tragedy that we’re letting our moral relativism get in the way of helping people put food in their mouths.

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes